My body has become a piece of digital art.
Medically reduced to pixels on a screen. Three-dimensional form becomes two-dimensional form. Pixels become prints, and prints become collage, resulting in a new artwork.
It's been interesting to play with my body and interact with it in a completely different way.
Before this, I hadn't paid much attention to my own body in relation to my art. It mainly came into play through its representation and consumption by others, whether physically or on social media. It had never really been a site of my own enquiry.
Over the last year, that changed. Pain, discomfort, anxiety and mental health struggles made my body and mind the centre of my attention. I felt trapped by them. All my usual external distractions seemed to disappear, leaving me with no choice but to turn inwards and pay attention.
Not for vanity, but for function. For its mechanics. For what was happening beneath the surface.
I was right all along. I have endometriosis.
I'm still adjusting to the diagnosis, but I'm also beginning to recognise a difference in myself. The fog has lifted, and I can feel my brain working again. I feel passionate and inspired, with an energy to think and create that I haven't felt for a long time.
Physically, the mechanics of my body have improved considerably. In fact, they feel better than they ever have. At just 16 days post-op, it's still very early, and I don't yet know how my body will continue to heal or what this next version of myself will look like.
In some ways, I feel as though I've been through my own sculptural process. Translated from organic matter into digital interpretation, then brought back into the physical world in a new form.
I've spent years looking for the hidden structures within my sculptures. It's interesting to find myself doing the same with my own body.